I know the initial thought of moving home can be a shocker for most, but it is actually much more common than you realize! Many people move home at some point within five to ten years after graduating from college. Some use it as a home base to land as they are pursuing their first job. Some use it as a way to save up for purchasing a home. Still others move home because they are trying to figure their life out, and it is helpful to do that in a space they feel safe. Moving home is actually a good thing, even though it gives you all the cringey embarrassed feelings at first.
Here are a few pros to moving home. The first is you can save money. Unless your parents choose to charge you a crazy amount for rent (you should take this as a hint that they want you to move out btw), you are likely to save a LOT of money by moving home. It might be a good way to start paying off loans, or start saving for future investments. Many couples choose to move in with their parents or in laws to save up for a home of their own one day.
Moving home can also be a way to ground yourself after or during a transitional time in your life. For example, if you are just graduating from college you are going to experience a plethora of emotions and changes. Having a familiar space with a community surrounding you can be a helpful support system as you learn to adjust to adulthood. Similarly, if you are going through a break up of some kind moving home is beneficial because you are with people who love you in an environment which can help you feel like yourself again.
While moving home has many pros, it also has a comparable amount of cons. However, the negative aspects of moving home can be either avoided or managed by keeping the following in mind.
You are in your parents’ (or significant other’s parents’) space.
While home will always be your home too, you have to keep in mind that it first and foremost belongs to your parents. This can be a challenge because you remember what it was like when you lived there full time. Your parents, however, have adjusted their lifestyle to living without you home and are now needing to adjust back to you being there. It is important that you talk to them about their new routines since you have left home. They might have evening shows they like to watch now, or morning breakfast routines that you are not aware of. Being respectful of their new schedules and ways of using their home will allow for a more positive experience for you. You can then express your routines and schedule and find compromises.
Your schedule is important too.
Even though you are in your parents space, your schedule or routines also matter. If you’re coming straight from college, chances are your sleep schedule is probably VERY different from your parents. You probably either stay up late, or stay out until late. Expressing this to your parents is very important. They will likely resort back to worrying about where you are or what you are doing if you do not communicate with them from the get go how you are planning to spend your time. It might be a good idea to have an agreed upon time when you will be home. Not as a curfew, but as a courtesy of your new roommates. Deciding on a door to come in so as not to wake them up is also a good idea. Just remember, that communication is key. It is okay for you to want to do your own thing, but remember to be respectful of your parents as well.
Talk about who is going to do the cooking.
As weird as this might sound, food can be a major dilemma when you move home. Parents, mom’s in particular, fall back into mama bear mode and want to cook and take care of you. While this might be nice for a few weeks, eventually you will find that you want to eat differently and/or have a bit of your own space. If you don’t decide this on your own, your mom might have the realization that she doesn’t have the time to take care of you as much as she would like. Being able to gently express these thoughts and feelings to one another will make a major difference in your living environment. Telling your mom which nights of the week you would like to cook or grocery shop will not only make your life easier, but hers as well! Use this time as a way to learn from her also. Maybe you are not comfortable grocery shopping or cooking all on your own. Ask for some nights when you can do those things together! Now is your opportunity to grow and learn so that when you are living on your own you can take care of yourself. If you’re moving home after already having lived by yourself, taking a few nights to cook is probably a good idea. As long as you all talk about an agreed upon arrangement, and everyone is happy life will be good.
Identify some spaces you can call your own.
Whether it’s your bedroom, your own bathroom, a small TV room, or even just an area of the backyard make sure you have some spaces within the house that you can call your own and not be bothered in. As wonderful as family is, it is a major adjustment to go from living separately to living together again. Being able to retreat to your own room will help your mental health while living at home. Maybe have a computer or TV in your room so that you can watch your own shows too.
Have a job and activities outside of the house.
Sometimes we move home because we don’t have a job. That’s okay! Do your best to get one, even if it’s just in a coffee shop or nannying or dog walking for a while. Getting out of the house is vital to your survival at home. Spending all day watching TV, playing video games, or sleeping in will only make you feel worse. Even as you look for a job, set a schedule for yourself. Have an alarm go off in the morning, get up and shower, go to a location that has WiFi and do your job searching there. Acting as a professional will help you feel more independent and will set you up for success when you do have a job. It is also recommended that you join groups or communities in the evenings. Maybe you have some friends who are also living at home. Perfect! Go to trivia nights together, or plan outings in the afternoons and evenings so that you have a social life and aren’t cooped up all day and night.
Try to set a timeline for how long you will be home.
When you first move home, set a goal for when you want to move out by. Maybe it’s a few months, a year, or a few years. Whatever your timeline is, set a goal and do your best to stick to it. Knowing there is an end in sight will help you get through the days that are hard.
No matter what, there will be ups and downs to living at home just as there are ups and downs to living with roommates. Overall though, you’re making a good choice to move in with the rents as long as it’s just for a time 😉 If you need some help during this transitional time let me know! I’m always just a phone call away!
Peace, love, and moving home,